3 Simple Steps to Find Happiness in Life
Have you ever put on a fake smile? You know…the smile you use when you’re pretending to be happy…pretending that everything is ok. I’ve spent most of my life as a people pleaser which means I got really good at the fake smile. And let me tell you…it was downright exhausting! After way too many years I finally got tired of faking it and decided to learn how to be happy for real.

So, how do you stop pretending and be happy for real? It’s going to take some work but if you start with these three simple steps, you too will find real happiness in your life.
STEP 1 – FIGURE OUT HOW YOU REALLY FEEL.
The first step with any type of change is figuring out where you’re starting from. Often times this is the hardest step because as moms we tend to focus on what everyone else needs and wants. We often forget to ask ourselves what we need and want.
Maybe it’s because it feels selfish to think about ourselves. Maybe it’s because we feel like we have to be Super Woman. Maybe it’s because needing help makes us feel weak.
It doesn’t matter why we do it. The important thing is learning to stop, learning to make ourselves a priority.
A great place to start is with a little soul searching. I’m not talking about a weekend retreat…though that would be pretty awesome wouldn’t it! I’m talking about 10-15 minutes of quiet time…time to really look inside yourself.
Journaling is the best way to uncover the things we’ve kept buried for too long. If you’re a pen and paper type of person, go that route. If you prefer to type on your laptop, do that. If you’d rather create a voice memo on your phone, that’s good too. The important part is that you take the time to do the digging.
Start by finishing the prompt: Today I feel…
Be real with yourself. Do you feel tired? Are you a bit sad? Are you hungry? Are you overwhelmed? Keep writing for at least 10 minutes. A lot of times, our real feelings don’t come out until we’ve been writing for several minutes. Think of this as an archeological dig. When you first start writing it’s like you’re brushing the dirt off the top. It takes a while to brush away that first layer of dirt. Then it’s on to the next, and the next, and the next. The good stuff is several layers down so the important thing here is to just keep writing.
If you run out of time or really feel blocked, put your paper away and come back to it later. Read it, feel it and start writing again.
STEP 2 – DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL.
Once you have an idea of how you feel, it’s time to start thinking about how you want to feel. This is where it’s important to be specific. You can’t just say I want to be happy. You have to describe to yourself what happy actually looks like for you.
It’s like planning a vacation to Disney. If you just say “I want to go to Disney” it won’t be a very good trip. Instead you need to get your tickets. You need to decide which attractions you want to see. You need to think about where you want to stay and where you want to eat. You need to focus on the details. Planning your future happiness is the same way.
Once again you need to sit down and start writing and don’t stop for at least 10 minutes. You also need to just let the thoughts and feelings pour out. Don’t try to edit what you’re writing. Don’t let your mind tell you that what you want can’t happen. Don’t stop and try to plan how you’re going to make it all happen. Just let your dreams and desires pour out onto paper.
STEP 3 – TAKE A SMALL STEP IN THE NEW DIRECTION.
Now comes the fun part…well, maybe the hard part but it’s fun because this is where you get to actually start making progress. It’s time to change your focus from what is stressing you out to what is good in your life. One of the best ways to do this is with daily gratitude. It sounds daunting I know, but it’s really pretty simple. Each day write down one thing your grateful for. The only catch is you can’t write down the same thing every day.
I like to write my daily gratitude down in a notebook but once again, if you prefer to type or use a voice memo, do that. The important part is that you keep your gratitude list in a place that’s easy to refer back to. The reason I love to write mine down in a notebook is so when I’m feeling down, I can page back through all the things I wrote down. It really helps to see all the things in my life I have to be grateful for.
Now that you know the steps, it’s time to get started, it’s time to find more happiness in your life. Start by figuring out how you really feel right now. Be sure to be honest with yourself. Then decide how you want to feel. And finally, take that first small step in the new direction by focusing on the things you have to be grateful for.
I’ve put together a Today I’m Grateful free printable for you to use when writing down your daily gratitude. Each day, just write down one thing you’re grateful for and at the end of the year, you’ll have a list of 365 things to reflect on! Download your free copy here!